• IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL

Universal studios will spend $50 million on ads promoting the opening of its $1 billion Islands of Adventure theme park in Orlando, according to the Wall Street Journal.  Universal execs said they favored the project because of Universal's need to compete with Disney's Times Square theme park, Candy Ass World, in New York City.

• IT'S THE PITS

At the recent multi-city teleconferencing convention, Rick Breitbart (on screen) tells Dan Mulcahy to use a much stronger deodorant.

• HEIL AND FAREWELL

Here are the results of last week's Untrue New Readers' Poll.  To the question "If Hitler were alive today and had to choose between being a liberal Democrat or a conservative Republican, which would he select?" an amazing 97% of responses chose Republican.  1.5% were undecided, and 1.5% (mostly high school students) said "who's Hitler?"