"Soy uno satiristo" --Howard Stern, apologizing for remarks
made after the death of Latina singer Serena.
"Yeah, sure you are, you're a regular Jonathan Swift."
This issue of McGuffin's Untrue News is brought to you by the United States Internal
Revenue Service, which says "You've heard much made of the fact that we are auditing
far fewer people than ever before. Don't be fooled. If YOU
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WOODSMAN, SPARE THAT TREE
has ordered the permanent protection of some of the world's oldest and largest
redwood trees, by setting aside 327,000 acres of forest in central California as
a national monument. Predictably, Republican presidential hopeful George W.
Bush deplored the action, saying "Yes, the trees are old, but I can't help
thinking that if we cut them down, the lumber could help build some really fine,
GET WELL SOON
Popular singer Mariah Carey is up and about after being rushed to
the hospital last week suffering from severe food poisoning. Apparently,
she ate a couple of bad producers.
Untrue News Science Editor Dr. Mel E. Levine updates us on the
latest in the world of science and medicine:
report this week, I'm on the road, Juggs in Camden on Tuesday, (opening for the
lovely Asia de Cuba) and Mr. Laffs in Death Valley on Sunday (standby comic).
If you're in the area, drop in, mention my name and they'll waive the four drink
minimum. Catch you next time. --Mel
TO BE OR NOT TO BE
Richard Burton's family
angrily rejected claims in a new book that the hell-raising Welsh actor was
secretly gay. "If Rich was a homosexual, then I'm a nun," said the actor's
brother, Sister Mary Angelica.
A Spike Lee joint.
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