talk show bully boy and surly alcoholic Don Imus is suing the Untrue News for
libel, slander and defamation of character, according to papers filed last week
in Manhattan civil court. The $12.5 million suit is based on an article which
appeared recently in these pages. In the article, Untrue News editor Mark
McGuffin wrote "The fact that Don Imus, a talentless, arrogant, repellent,
infantile, mean-spirited, nasty, lying loudmouth is still on the air marks him as
one of the luckiest human beings on the face of the earth." Imus' attorney Jack
Litman said "Imus is so far from even remotely resembling a human being, our
lawsuit will win itself."
OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MOURNING
Bill Bowerman, co-founder of the Nike shoe empire, died last week
at the age of 88. He was mourned by dozens of 9 and 10 year old Malaysian girls
who were paid six cents an hour for their services.
BELIEVE THE CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE
GUEST ESSAY: ALBERT EINSTEIN
by Tiffany Welch, age 14, Dearborn School.
so they asked me to write about someone famous so I saw this picture of Albert
Einstein? So I go to the library and I'm like "do you have anything on this guy?"
So the librarian is all like "here's an issue of Time Magazine, Einstein was
chosen person of the century." so I look him up and it says he died in 1955. I
mean my DAD wasn't even born then. So I'm like "duh! How could he
be person of the century if he's dead?" Could they be more vacant? It's SO
stupid. I gotta go.
THEN--THIS IS NOW
In My Rearview Mirror: Commentary by Mark
new century, the 21st, is a week and a day old and looking back to the way the
world was two weeks ago we can see how antique it seems. Boris Yeltsin was the
President of Russia. Ted Turner and Jane Fonda were still together, Bill Parcells
was coaching the Jets, and John Rocker was a respected baseball player. Can we
learn anything from the lessons of the past? Not bloody likely. --MM
AULD LANG SYNE
Marcie and Bob Watson of New Haven, CT, at
Yale-New Haven Hospital with their son Joshua, the first baby of the millennium.
With them is their other son Gavin, 3, who will spend the rest of his life trying
to get over it.