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[This week's Untrue News]
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April 21, 2001
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I
BELIEVE IN YESTERDAY
Children's
Television Workshop, producers of Sesame Street announced Monday that
it is changing its name. In a statement, the company said that it
didn't want to be thought of as just a TV company. "Our new name
captures the essence of who we are" it said. CTW's new name will
be "The Greedy Shitheads Who Are Taking Quote Research Unquote
Trips to Paris and Other European Capitals on Your Tax Dollars, Yet
Who Make Millions Aggressively Marketing Formerly Adorable Characters
Once Used For Educational Purposes Workshop." We'll see you
at the fund-raiser!
When
reminded that he refused to criticize what some saw as anti-Semitic
remarks made by Pat Buchanan, that his campaign chairman used a mailing
list purchased from Klan leader David Duke, and that he jump-started his
South Carolina primary campaign at segregationist Bob Jones University,
which leans towards anti-Catholicism and forbids interracial dating,
George W. Bush told Untrue News "What's wrong with Christian
conservatives being anti-Semitic, anti-Catholic, or anti-black? I
mean, if you take those things away from us, what the hell have we
got?"
Bill
Cosby's untitled TV movie in which he was to play a character who
fathers a love child has been shelved following differences between
Cosby and the movie's producers, cable channel TNT. Insiders say TNT
wanted a movie that was truthful and funny, while Cosby wanted to do
it his way.
Theodore
A. Postol, an arms expert at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has
issued a strong criticism of the government's proposed antimissile defense
system. According to Postol's evidence, all flight tests of the $60 billion
weapon have been rigged to hide a fundamental flaw: The system cannot
distinguish between enemy warheads and decoys. Untrue News cannot believe Mr.
Postol's story. It would mean that the Pentagon is lying to the American people,
and things like that just don't happen. It would be like saying that Eisenhower
lied to America about the Francis Gary Powers U-2 spy plane incident. It would
mean that Kennedy lied about Cuba, and Lyndon Johnson lied about Viet Nam, and
Nixon lied about Watergate, and Bush lied about Iran-Contra and no new taxes,
and Clinton lied about everything. No. America does not accept liars as chief
executives. We never have and we never will. To say otherwise flies in the face
of all that is right and true and good about this beloved country.
