<%@ Language=JavaScript %> June 23, 2001 Untrue News


 [2006 Issues]  [2005 Issues]  [2004 Issues]  [2003 Issues]  [2002 Issues]   [2001 Issues]   [2000 Issues]   [This week's Untrue News]
 

Après Solstice edition. All in French. Toute en Française. Au Revoir. Merci.

June 23, 2001

"If we say it's untrue, there's no way you can sue."

June 23,  2001

FROM THE UNTRUE NEWS TRUE NEWS FILES

(unlike the rest of our newsletter, this item is guaranteed genuine)

breathing fire may be bad for your health

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian man died after an operation in which surgeons accidentally set fire to a breathing tube in his throat with a laser they were using to remove a tumor, ANSA news agency reported Thursday.

 

  JAY LENO, PLEASE READ

Jay Leno quips

This week, the parents of missing White House intern Chandra Levy came to Washington to meet with Congressman Gary A. Condit for whom she worked. Condit denies all knowledge of Levy's whereabouts. Missing intern? Member of Congress? LOOK UNDER HIS DESK!! (Cut to: bandleader laughing)

 

NO PLACE LIKE HMO

DumboGeorge W. Bush does not favor supporting stem-cell research with government funds, sources tell Untrue News. Stem cells are thought to be important medically, because they have the ability to repair failing body tissues and organs. As a Whitehouse spokeswoman put it "Mr. Bush is against healing, especially if it hurts the HMO's."

 

  THE ROMANCE OF IRWIN SWAGLER

beautiful dreamer

"Oh yes, to you I'm just a mild mannered balding guy with huge glasses, but there's a thunder inside me, and swirling colors and if I could take you in my arms right now and make passionate love to you, I'd...oh, this is silly, give me half a pound of domestic Swiss."

 

Get a reminder when we publish NEW Untrue News. No spam.

Keep reading, we aren't done yet.

Smoke new MKULTRA non-tobacco cigarettes! The non-addictive smoking treat that's keeps you coming back for more.  MK-ULTAS... not because you have to, but because you'll want to.  Be washed in real smoking pleasure without the dangers of nicotine today.

NEWS OF SHOW BUSINESS

DISNEY MAKES NEWS:

The Lion King Broadway theater posterDisney is under fire in the U.K. for forcing a small school on the Isle of Lewis in Scotland to cancel a stage production of The Lion King. British news reports said that the children at the school had spent six months rehearsing for the musical and had sold out all 400 seats for the four performances set for next week. The money was reportedly earmarked for religious charities and funding school trips. A Disney spokesman told Untrue News it was important for the Disney brand to maintain its identity. "If it means breaking the hearts of a few Scottish school children to make our shareholders happy, Disney is more than willing to take that step."

In a related story, Terrence MacDougal, 11, of Lewis Isle secondary school in Scotland was found beaten to death, with a rat stuffed into his mouth, police said. MacDougal was believed to have written an email to Disney alerting them to the school's upcoming illegal production of "The Lion King".

All your base are belong to usAnd speaking of Disney, the website Movie-Mistakes.com has found at least 54 historical inaccuracies in Disney's "Pearl Harbor." Disney has said repeatedly that the film is not meant to be historically accurate and is basically a love story. Disney is expected to make the same claim for its next blockbuster, "Viet Nam" set in Helsinki in 1647.

 

 

WE'LL MISS THEM

Carroll O'Connor, who played Archie Bunker in the long running TV series "All in the Family" died at the age of 76. Great blues singer John Lee Hooker also passed away. Suggested Enquirer headline: Archie Bunker & Hooker Found Dead.

John Lee Hooker

  PAYING BACK THE PIPER

Smoke new MKULTRA non-tobacco cigarettes! The non-addictive smoking treat that's keeps you coming back for more.  MK-ULTAS... not because you have to, but because you'll want to.  Be washed in real smoking pleasure without the dangers of nicotine today.

Dressed in native costume, Latvian musician Ivris Fresba celebrates All Nations Day by playing a folk tune on a slide whistle for 4th graders from the Mann elementary school. Later, irritated students took the slide whistle away from Fresba and shoved it up his ass.

 

Get your free email

Get a free website

 

Log in to Chat
Who's online in Fool Moon Chat?
Send a message to Fool Moon by e-mail

 

 

Talk back to McGuffin

 

 

This issue is from
June 23 2001

 

 

Click here for the latest issue

 

 

Get your free email

Get a free website

 

 

Log in to Chat
Who's online in Fool Moon Chat?
Send a message to Fool Moon by e-mail

 

 

Talk back to McGuffin

 

 

This issue is from
June 23 2001

 

Click here for the latest issue

 

 

Join the Majestic Alliance

 

 

 

Click here for the latest issue


Have you found us yet?

You're being watched.FROM THE You've been followed here. We're all in danger. FILES
by Untrue News paranoid editor Hyman Hayden**

Untrue News has actually accepted an ad for MK Ultra, the cigarette company that is suing me for libel because I said their product contains a mind numbing substance that permits the smoker's brain to be taken over by aliens. I'd like to remind MK Ultra that truth is a defense against libel.

I have also heard MK Ultra ads broadcast on the radio, on a special government frequency which I have tried to tap into but can only receive during the quarter and three quarter waxing moons, and only during months with five or less letters in them, i.e. March, April, May, June, July. And also Aug Sept. Oct. Nov. and Dec. if i abbreviate them.

It's all so very insidious. I realize we live in a democracy and businesses are free to make their own advertising decisions, yet to actively sponsor such an insidious product makes one suspect the loyalties even of those who seem the most trustworthy. If I were generous, which I am not, I would say they are greedy.

Here is the test I will use. If you read these words, it means that the Untrue News publisher is merely a dupe of beings beyond his knowledge or control. If, however, this paragraph is censored, and you are NOT reading it, get in touch with me immediately. If you are not reading this, we are in very serious trouble and I urge you to alert me as quickly as possible, then turn off your computer and get out of your house. Carry a piece of silver foil with you for at least ten days. Good luck, and may God help us all.

 --H.H.

The time draws near... keep looking.

Connect the dots. Trust no-one.

(**NOTE: Hyman Hayden is a member of the Paranoid Alliance for Personal Protection (PAPP) and is licensed to carry a concealed weapon.)

Join the Majestic Alliance

 

 

Log in to Chat
Who's online in Fool Moon Chat?
Send a message to Fool Moon by e-mail

 

Talk back to Hayden

 

Shadow Gov. agent sightings

 

Join the Majestic Alliance

 

 

Get free email

Get a free Majestic website

© Copyright 2000-2001 by Fool Moon, LLC.  All rights reserved.
ANGELINA JOLIE: Your plastic surgeon called, your two pounds of bovine collagen arrived and are awaiting injection into your lips.

[Current Issue] [2006 Untrue News Issues] [2005 Untrue News Issues] [2004 Untrue News Issues] [2003 Untrue News Issues] [2002 Untrue News Issues] [2001 Untrue News Issues] [2000 Untrue News Issues] [Table of Contents - Untrue News]  [Diebate]

The original content of Untrue News is © Copyright 1997-2005 by Fool Moon LLC. All rights reserved. Photographs are used for satiric purposes only and may not be reproduced without specific permission of the original copyright holders. For text permissions, please write McGuffin@Untruenews.com

Link to McGuffin's The Untrue News!
Copy this graphic  : Copyright by Fool Moon LLC, 1997-2004 -- Untrue News  and link it to http://untruenews.com.