<%@ Language=JavaScript %> March 11, 2002
March 11, 2002
Log in to Chat

Who's online in Fool Moon Chat?
Send a message to Fool Moon by e-mail

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fool Moon

http://untruenews.com
Archives at http://untruenews.com:
[2002 Issues]   [2001 Issues]   [2000 Issues]   [This week's Untrue News]   [Free website]

McGuffin's The Untrue News is recommended for persons over the age of 16, and smart ones at that. If you are under 16 years of age, or a stupid person, or both, there will not be much here for you.

Extra special St. Patrick's Day Issue.  May the streets of your town be awash in green beer! Go Bragh!


OOPS, WRONG COUNTRY

The President of the United States realizes there is no oil in Afghanistan

 

 

FOUND: Weapons grade uranium and plutonium. Will return to individual or country offering proof of ownership. Please hurry, finder is not feeling well. Box 111, Cutter Ridge, Fla. 33157

PROTOCOLS OF THE  ELDERS OF THE WHITE HOUSE

Recently released Nixon white house tapes reveal a conversation in the oval office in which Rev. Billy Graham makes anti-Semitic remarks to Richard Nixon, who is heard agreeing.

 

All those who are surprised to learn that Billy Graham and Richard Nixon were anti-Semitic, please raise your hands. Anyone? Anyone at all?  Come on, there must be at least one of you.  Anybody?

RESULTS OF OUR RECENT READERS' POLL

 

Q: Is Ken Lay  :

a) a thief,
b) a crook,
c) a swindler
d) an incredibly large bucket of swine manure

Your responses: (14,457 responses)

Yes           100%
Not sure       0%

Get a reminder when we publish NEW Untrue News. No spam.

Keep reading, we aren't done yet.

News of Show Business

STORM CROWE

Angered that his acceptance speech for the best actor award at Sunday night's BAFA ceremonies in London were edited, Russell Crowe kicked over several chairs and then confronted Malcolm Gerrie, the producer of the BBC broadcast, shouting obscenities at him and threatening to "make sure you never work in Hollywood," the London Daily Sun reported. 

According to our sources in the industry, threatening a BBC producer that he'll never work in Hollywood is like threatening Bill Gates that he'll never work as a blackjack dealer.

BATTLE OF THE ALPHABETS

David Letterman has been in negotiations with Disney President Robert Iger to move his late night talk show from CBS to  ABC  taking over the time now occupied by Nightline and Politically Incorrect.

Insiders are scratching their heads over the move, with one executive quoted as saying "It's a step sideways. Letterman and Koppel get the same number of laughs. Koppel doesn't make geeky faces, that's the only difference."

Bill MaherWhen asked how he'd feel if he were replaced by Letterman, Politically Incorrect's host Bill Maher's answer was drowned out by four other people all talking over him.
 

AN AD FOR ALL SEASONS


Russel Crowe recommends Preparation H... first choice of real assholes.

HAVE ANOTHER TEA CAKE, MR. PROUST.

ABC has hired John Madden for Monday Night Football and fired Dennis Miller, the network said Thursday. Asked why Miller was fired, ABC-TV's Network Director Alex Walau told Untrue News "During a football game, people want to hear about the game that's being played, not the Hegelian theory of dialectical materialism, Blue Oyster Cult, and Candyland."

DRINKING THE BIRD

 

"Bartender, Goose me!"

 

Listen for this phrase at fine taverns and restaurants all across America.  It means "make me a martini with Grey Goose vodka."  Grey Goose vodka has been chosen the number one vodka made in France, if that means anything to you. It has consistently scored number 1 in international taste tests, which is peculiar, considering the fact that vodka isn't supposed to have any taste. But you do, so why not order the vodka that shows you know the finest when you swill it.

Before long, everyone in your bar will be saying "Bartender, Goose me."  Get goosed.  Do it today.

Grey Goose vodka,  distilled and bottled in France, Imported by Sidney Frank Importing Co. Inc.

The Alcoholic Beverages Council, although  a promotional and lobbying organization for the liquor industry,  reminds you to drink responsibly.

(If you are under 21 years of age, you should not have read this advertisement)

McGuffin's The Untrue News is Copyright 2002 by Fool Moon LLC. All rights reserved. For text permissions write givemethat@untruenews.com    For all other legal matters, contact our attorney Alan Dershowitz@yeahlikewecouldaffordalandershowitz.com

 

[Current Issue] [2006 Untrue News Issues] [2005 Untrue News Issues] [2004 Untrue News Issues] [2003 Untrue News Issues] [2002 Untrue News Issues] [2001 Untrue News Issues] [2000 Untrue News Issues] [Table of Contents - Untrue News]  [Diebate]

The original content of Untrue News is Copyright 1997-2005 by Fool Moon LLC. All rights reserved. Photographs are used for satiric purposes only and may not be reproduced without specific permission of the original copyright holders. For text permissions, please write McGuffin@Untruenews.com

Link to McGuffin's The Untrue News!
Copy this graphic  : Copyright by Fool Moon LLC, 1997-2004 -- Untrue News  and link it to http://untruenews.com.