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Special to McGuffin's The Untrue News

ROBERT NOVAK WILL OUT CIA AGENTS

Conservative columnist and talking head Robert Novak has agreed to meet with the Italian government and out the 11 CIA agents wanted by Italy for the alleged kidnapping and rendering of terrorist suspect Osama Moustafa Hassan Nasr, known as Abu Omar, from a Rome street last week.

Novak is said to know the agents' names because of a special relationship he has with the CIA. "I can't go into exactly what it is" said Novak, in an exclusive McGuffin's The Untrue News interview "all I can say is I have some very good friends in high places, and I steal files, and I learn things." Novak, who gesticulated so fiercely he once knocked over a framed photo of Jeff Gannon on his desk, said that the same friends who had assisted him in outing Valerie Plame were responsible for his knowing the names of the agents. "Someone leaves a door open, in I go." said Novak. "Then what I do behind closed doors is my own business."

Asked why he was not facing jail time for refusing to name his sources in the Valerie Plame case, Novak's grin resembled a Cheshire cat's as he said "Why am I not facing jail time for not naming sources? Take a guess." We guessed it was because he had named his sources. "Duh!" he said.

Robert Novak - political douchebag When questioned about why he was flying to Italy at the behest of the Italians to do something that was so obviously against his usual pro-government stance, Novak said "Half a million lire isn't half a million dollars, but it isn't bad. And have you ever traveled first class on Al-Italia or stayed in a suite at the Grand Hotel in Rome? No? Well, I'll be doing that next week."

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