"We Report--You Shut Up"
[This week's Untrue
Special to McGuffin's The Untrue News
WILL OUT CIA AGENTS
columnist and talking head Robert Novak has agreed to meet with the
Italian government and out the 11 CIA agents wanted by Italy for the
alleged kidnapping and rendering of terrorist suspect Osama Moustafa
Hassan Nasr, known as Abu Omar, from a Rome street last week.
Novak is said to know the agents' names
because of a special relationship he has with the CIA. "I can't go into
exactly what it is" said Novak, in an exclusive McGuffin's The Untrue
News interview "all I can say is I have some very good friends in high
places, and I steal files, and I learn things." Novak, who gesticulated
so fiercely he once knocked over a framed photo of Jeff Gannon on his
desk, said that the same friends who had assisted him in outing Valerie
Plame were responsible for his knowing the names of the agents. "Someone
leaves a door open, in I go." said Novak. "Then what I do behind
closed doors is my own business."
Asked why he was not facing jail time for
refusing to name his sources in the Valerie Plame case, Novak's grin
resembled a Cheshire cat's as he said "Why am I not facing jail time for
not naming sources? Take a guess." We guessed it was because he had named
his sources. "Duh!" he said.
When questioned about why he was flying
to Italy at the behest of the Italians to do something that was so
obviously against his usual pro-government stance, Novak said "Half
a million lire isn't half a million dollars, but it isn't bad. And
have you ever traveled first class on Al-Italia or stayed in a suite at
the Grand Hotel in Rome? No? Well, I'll be doing that next week."
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