McGuffin's The Untrue News interviews
McGUFFIN: People are accusing you
of "outing" Valerie Plame.
ROVE: Outing her? I didn't even
know she was gay.
McGUFFIN: In the sense of giving her name
to the press.
ROVE: Is she really gay? That would help
me a lot.
McGUFFIN: Did you mention her name to
Novak, and/or to Judith Miller of the Times?
ROVE: Now you listen to me. (pointing
finger) I did not name that woman. Miss Plame.
McGUFFIN: You never indicated to anyone
that she may have been involved as an undercover operative of the CIA?
ROVE: How could I? I didn't even know she
was gay, let alone with the CIA.
McGUFFIN: The entire investigation is
made up by your political enemies?
ROVE: Apparently by my political GAY
enemies, Mr. McGuffin.
McGUFFIN: There's no need to glare at me,
sir. Let's get back to the topic.
ROVE: Good. Now tell me more about
Valerie Plame being gay. You know, I always thought her husband was
wearing helium shoes, if you know what I mean.
McGUFFIN: I don't know anything about
ROVE: Those gay women, I've gotta tell
you. I'm more or less a eunuch, but sometimes they really light my fuse.
Sorry, don't interpret that as intent to bomb. Hahahah.
McGUFFIN: Sir, our readers really want to
ROVE: Off the record. Have you ever seen
a couple of those lezzies in action? I almost wanted sex, it was so hot.
McGUFFIN: We're not off the record.
ROVE: I was quoting Joe Wilson, about his
wife, the CIA spy.
McGUFFIN: There, you just did it!
ROVE: I never mentioned a name. I never
said Joe Wilson's wife was Valerie Plame, the lesbo.
McGUFFIN: She's not a...
ROVE: Don't start dodging now, you're the
one who brought it up.
McGUFFIN: Thank you for your time, Mr.
ROVE: When the going gets tough, you
crumble, don't you?
McGUFFIN: I'm seeing diminishing returns
ROVE: Just like all you liberal lesbians.
McGUFFIN: Will that stand as your last
ROVE: God bless the United States of
America and President George Bush,
and Vice President Dick Cheney, and
the Halliburton Corporation and their subsidiaries.