AUSTIN, Texas - The state House on Tuesday approved
a bill to restrict "overtly sexually suggestive" cheerleading to more
The ban included, but was not limited to, such well
known cheerleader stunts as "fucking the team" "blowing the team" and
breaking out in tears because you couldn't fuck or blow the team. Barred
from the field will be cheers currently common in the cheerleader
repertoire, such as "Hold the line/and we'll sixty-nine" and "Make that
point/we'll cop your joint." Under the new regulation, cheerleaders would
be prohibited from displaying their tits, their pussies or their asses
for "erotic purposes" There was no regulation concerning male
cheerleaders, which was said to greatly please many members of the
The term "more ladylike performances" was recently
adapted by the Houston Oilers, whose cheerleaders pantomimed serving tea
and "slapping mashers" as head cheerleader Brenda Blaney put it. At
halftime, the cheerleaders did not dance, but raised their voices
is a rousing chorus of "I Believe." The usually rowdy football fans were
moved to tears.
State Representative Bob Girlette told McGuffin's
The Untrue Newsblog "There is nothing wrong with good, lusty cheering, as
long as that's as far as the lust goes, if you catch the meaning of what
I just said. All we're asking is that the girls confine their
cheerleading to cheers that don't insult Jesus. Most of my constituents
are fellow parishoners and also fellow football fans. We don't think it's
right to pray to Jesus to win football games, while at the same time
offending Him with suggestive cheers."
ON THE ROAD AGAIN
Outgoing Disney CEO Michael Eisner and incoming Disney CEO
Robert Iger will be traveling to Asia together
in an effort to expand cable and satellite carriage of the
company's kids channels, Toon Disney and Disney Channel.
In a statement issued to concerned stockholders, the two
executives said expenses for the trip would be kept low."Bob and I will be sharing a room" said Eisner, "to save
money.. Also, we're not bringing our wives, are we?" he said."No." Iger answered with a smile.
"And we'll have many room service dinners because of the late
hours we'll be keeping while we work to maximize profits
for Disney shareholders."
"Mikie and I can wear each others' clothes, so we even save
on cleaning expenses." added Iger. "We're always
thinking of Disney, always." he giggled. "Sometimes it makes
Gina Reese's plays "The Hot Canary" just outside the Florida State Prison death chamber as an inmate is executed. Gina recently lost her job when the Supreme
Court agreed with a lower court ruling that subjecting condemned inmates to her playing constituted "cruel and unusual punishment."
McGuffin's The Untrue
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